[SAŽETAK] How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie

Knjiga koja je gotovo 90 godina u tisku. 90 godina kasnije i dalje je relevantna kao i dana kada je objavljena. I, nesumnjivo, bit će relevantna u idućih 90 godina. Knjiga koju se isplati pročitati. Pročitati više puta. Izdvojiti principe i svako toliko se podsjetiti tih principa. Podsjetiti se principa kada se nađete u teškoj, ili novoj, situaciji.

Iz prethodnog paragrafa vjerujem da je vidljivo koliko sam oduševljen. Oduševljen sam s principima koji su, u stvari, zdrava logika. Ali nikada to ne primijetimo dok nisu ovako eksplicitno napisane.

Uživajte u sažetku. Ispišite ga. Pogledajte video sažetke. Kupite i pročitajte knjigu. Isplati se. I ponovite sve barem još jednom. I promatrajte kako se odnosi u vašem životu mijenjaju na bolje.

How to win friends and influence people

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

“By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment”

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion”

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do”

“Principle 1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain”

“Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else”

“Principle 2. Give honest and sincere appreciation”

“So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it”

“If there is any secret to success, said Henry Ford, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own”

“The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage”

“Principle 3. Arouse in the other person an eager want”

Part Two – Six Ways to Make People Like You

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you”

“I have discovered from personal experience that one can win the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought-after people by becoming genuinely interested in them”

“In we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness”

“Principle 1. Become genuinely interested in other people”

“The effect of a smile is powerful – even when it’s unseen”

“You must have a good time meeting people of you expect them to have a good time meeting you”

“Your smile is a messenger of your good will”

“Principle 2. Smile”

“Principle 3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”

“Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is flattering as that”

“So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an active listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other person will enjoy answering”

“Principle 4. Be a good listener. Encourage other to talk about themselves”

“For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most”

“Principle 5. Talk is terms of the other person’s interests”

“The law is this: Always make the other person feel important”

“Principle 6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely”

Part Three – How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

“As a result of this, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under the high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it”

“You can’t win an argument”

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still”

“Principle 1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it”

“If you are going to prove something, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, that no one will feel that you are doing it”

“You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong”

“I am convinced now that nothing good is accomplished and a lot damage can be done if you tell a person straight out that he or she is wrong”

“Principle 2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say ‘You’re wrong'”

“Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say – and say them before that person has a chance to say them”

“Principle 3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and empathically”

“The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind, and kindness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world”

“Principle 4. Begin in the friendly way”

“In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ”

“He asked questions with which his opponents would have to agree”

“Principle 5. Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately”

“Let the other people talk themselves out”

“Principle 6. Let the other person do a great deal of talking”

“No one likes to feel he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas”

“Principle 7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers”

“Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so”

“Principle 8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view”

“Principle 9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires”

“To put it differently and perhaps more clearly, people are honest and want to discharge their obligations”

“Principle 10. Appeal to the nobler motives”

“This is the dog of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting and dramatic”

“Principle 11. Dramatise your ideas”

“The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of spirit”

“The one major factor that motivated people was the work itself”

“This is what every successful person loves: the game”

“Principle 12- Throw down a challenge”

Part Four – Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment

“It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points”

“Principle 1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation”

“This could be easily overcome by changing the word ‘but’ to ‘and'”

“Calling attention to one’s mistakes works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism”

“Principle 2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly”

“It isn’t nearly so difficult to listen to a recital of your faults if the person criticising by humbly admitting that he, too, is far from impeccable”

“Admitting one’s mistakes – even when one hasn’t corrected them – can help convince somebody to change his behavior”

“Principle 3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person”

“A technique like that [give suggestions, not orders] makes it easy for person to correct errors. It encourages cooperation instead of rebellion”

“People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued”

“Principle 4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders”

“Letting one save face! How important, how vitally important that is!”

“Principle 5. Let the other person save face”

“Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving”

“Remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it”

“Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement”

“Principle 6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”

“Principle 7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to”

“Be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it – and he will practice until dawn comes in the window in order to excel”

“Principle 8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct”

“This technique of giving titles and authority worked for the Napoleon and it will work for you”

“Principle 9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest”

Dodatne poveznice

Goodreads: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Amazon: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Blackwell’s: How to Win Friends and Influence People

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